Yay, you're engaged! Congratulations are in order to you and your fiance. This is such an exciting time filled with tons and tons of planning, ha! If you're anything like me when I was engaged, you might not know exactly what you want - but you know what you don't want. So how do you get those ideas and dreams, likes and dislikes to become real life? You take these three steps to get started with wedding planning!
Step One: Decide what type of couple you are.
This might seems vague so let me help you break this down. Starting vague, general so to speak, will help you trickle down the wedding funnel into the perfect wedding for you. FIRST - I want you to know, nothing is off limits. What I mean by that is just because it seems untraditional or not "wedding" like, does not mean you shouldn't go through with it. That's why step one getting started wedding planning is so crucial. Things to consider to help decide what kind of couple you are:
- Do you have a huge family, on both sides? Would you die without them present? Here's where you decide on big or small. Extravagant or intimate? Big scale or small detail?
- Do you like being in a room with A LOT of eyes on you? Or could you guys handle a few very familiar eyes staring at you for hours? lol
- Do you have travel in mind? Destinations often help reduce the size but not always the price.
- Are you practical hoping for something quaint or looking to make this the event of a life time?
- Are your friend groups big or small?
- Are you paying for it yourself or is someone kindly chipping in?
These are just a sampling of things to help you decide what kind of couple you are. By that I mean, what kind of wedding couple are you? What do you want out of your wedding day?
Step Two: Come up with a budget.
Step two to get started with wedding planning might seem really straight forward. You'd be surprised how many people go over budget or wish they had put some time into making one. Remember, you're likely doing this over a stretch of time, most times about a year. So If you book your venue now and aren't buying the dress, favors, florals etc until a few months go by, you might start to get that sticker shock. That sticker shock also normally comes at a time when you feel like you can't stop now. Before you know it you could easily have double what you were "hoping" to spend. Now maybe you're thinking if I have a small budget that means I can't have a big wedding. When in reality, you just might need to be a bit more creative! The location of where you'd like to get married will change the cost of things. For example I'm located in New Jersey and I decided to get married in North Carolina. Searching between the two I did notice quite the price difference. This is where that creativity comes into play! Here are some things to consider when thinking about your budget:
- Stating the obvious but consider your income and savings.I know many people who have even taken out loans to get the wedding of their dreams. Decide which scenario feels true to you.
- What are your non-negotiables for your wedding day? The perfect venue? A certain floral? The BEST photographer? Consider those big ticket items and be realistic with yourself on how much they might cost. This way you can decide if you want to increase/decrease your budget or maybe compromise on certain things you include in that budget.
Step Three: Get busy!
You've now made it through what I would consider to be the hard part! Step three to get started with wedding planning is the true start to building the most beautiful wedding day. If you stayed true to you and your fiance in steps one and two, you can't go wrong. Keep in mind, no matter what you choose, you'll still be married at the end. That is the whole point after all! How large or small, romantic or casual is really up to you and your fiance.
So now that your here, ready to get busy, what the heck does that mean? I'm so glad you asked! In the process of getting married you have multiple events and vendors for each one. You can do them all or non at all. (If you get stuck with say, the engagement party go back to these steps and replace wedding for engagement party, it all works the same!) Events that typically take place for newly engaged couples:
- Engagement party
- Asking your bridal party to stand with you
- Bridal shower
- Bach Parties
- Rehearsal dinner
- Wedding Day
- Post Brunch
- Honeymoon
NOW - you may not be planning all of these for yourself. A lot of times family members will offer to host a party, or throw you some cash to get it done. And sometimes they don't, everyone's situation is different. Everyone's perspective on these events are different. Remember during all of this that things have CHANGED since our parents and grandparents got married. They might not understand the cost of things, be able to afford the current cost of things etc. When going through all these motions try to keep in mind that help comes in all shapes and sizes and advice can sometimes be just that, advice. You can stick with what feels right to you.
Personally, I had an engagement party hosted by my mom and put together by my mom and sister. I did individual meet and greets with my bridal party. I threw my own bridal shower. My sister put together the most amazing bachelorette weekend getaway in Savannah, Georgia. My husband went on a fishing trip with a few of his guys. Now here's where things get interesting. We researched as a couple what the average wedding day cost in our area and found it was much more than we wanted - for ONE day. Then and idea came to me to get married on the beach in the Outer Banks, maybe just elope in a place we are always happy to be. (It's also where my husband asked my dad, officially, if he could marry me!) Then we were looking at houses to rent on the beach to spend time away together and with our closest friends and family. Throw in a quick elopement and boom, married.The idea evolved from there when I started to see the prices of the houses, enormous, gorgeous homes - the same price or CHEAPER than one day of getting married in New Jersey. So fast forward and we put our bridal parties and parents into one big house oceanfront in the Outer Banks. We accomplished everything we wanted out of our wedding day. It ended up being really affordable for what we achieved. We look back and still say to each other that our wedding was perfect. All this to say, we took a very untraditional route, still ended up married AND no regrets. If you get anything out of this blog post i hope that it is to put yourselves first in the planning process and don't be afraid to think outside of the box! Our rehearsal dinner was just dinner enjoyed by everyone and a quick run down on what to expect. Our wedding day was small, sixty people came and went. And we felt it accomplished a honeymoon all in one shot. Done and done!
In addition to all the events, most times those lead to having vendors. Now vendors is a general term to describe the people you'll be hiring for the events. Here are some vendors to keep in mind as you begin the planning process!
- venue / location
- caterer / food / drinks
- photographer
- videographer
- wedding website (most are free)
- bridesmaid dresses
- suites / wardrobe
- florals
- decor
- music
- lighting
You can keep track of all your vendors with this handy Vendor Tracker I put together for you. I know this might feel like A LOT all at once. I totally get it, I was so overwhelmed at first. Luckily I had my sister who was just married to guide me through the timeline. I know that not everyone is as fortunate! Sooo I made the this amazing wedding planner to keep you on track and organized! Trust me, you'll be so happy to have this planner to get you started with wedding planning!
